Renasia would be 5 mths. old today!

As a Mother you always want to protect your children from anything such as falling down, scraping their knee, getting picked on, and doing anything that can put them in any kind of danger.
As a Parent you plan to live longer than your children because you want to raise them and then to raise their kids, and for them to then help you when needed.
But I know for a fact ONE thing a parent never expects to do is bury their own child. Or the thought never crosses your mind you will loose one.
As most of you have read numerous times Renasia was definetley my Miracle Baby she wasn't suppose to be here since I had my tubes tied. BUT, God decided she needed to come down and make it know she was Truly a Miracle and take care of businss while she was here. Then when she came I thought why would God give me this Miracle baby and then make her be sick. Was it really to show what a Miracle she was? Was it to prepare her parents for much worst. A parent never wants their child to be sick or in the hospital. When Renasia made it through that first week I KNEW she was here for a reason and that was to serve a purpose.
Just holding her could make you smile, she was so perfect in every way. Her sister's and brothers were so proud to have her there. They helped whenever they could and always wanted to do something for her. She made the worlds biggest impact on our family.
January 12, 2009 I can't even describe in words how much I almost wish I would never of woke up that day. I can truely say that was the WORST day of entire life! To know that you very special Miracle baby is going to return home because her job here was done is the worst feeling in the world.

Today being 4/5/09 Renasia would be 5 mths old. What does that mean to most parents?
~Trying to sit up
~Rolling
~Crawling
~making noises
~Smiling
All the fun exciting things in life a child brings are within those early stages of live.

I was robbed those moments. I was robbed the ability to take all those pics of all her 1sts and to fight with daddy to see who gets to see her roll first, or crawl, or say dada. All those were taken from me. Now this day 4/5/09 means another day of heart ache and another day of pain.
I try to be that strong Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister, and Friend. But really inside I am that weak, sad, Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister and Friend.

Our family has been through a very tragic moment in life. But as a family we have also grown to love eachother even more! We have received a whole other type of love for eachother. I cherish every moment I have to look at my kids, see them breathe, walk, talk, and sometimes even talk back to me. Just thought of hearing their voice makes me so excited as a mother. If we didn't have eachother I honestly don't know where we would be!